It’s a panic button.

Speaking exclusively to the poetry magazine The Stinging Fly, he rejects claims he is a pretentious buffoon and says modestly: “My work - sometimes dark, often polyphonic and always totally incomprehensible - is a slow point in the turning world. It encourages you to take your hand off the panic button and breathe a bit deeper.”

Critics were quick to respond to McDade’s absurd claims. For example, F.R. Leavis said: “Personally, I reach for the panic button whenever I pick up one of McDade’s books. His writing makes you want to bleach your brain.”

Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch agreed: “His writing is so bad you’ll hyperventilate…and afterwards you’ll need a long lie down.”

And in the London Review of Books, Joel Bats was blunt: “Gobsmackingly, jawdroppingly, eyewateringly awful.”

Make up your own mind by coming to see the hilarious Writer’s Cramp by John Byrne, Tryst Theatre’s latest production in Behind the Wall’s fun “Pizza and Play” season. It features Jim Allan (who also directs), Alan Clark, Rhona McColl and Brian Paterson.

For your £12 ticket, you get a pizza, a drink, and Tryst’s hour-long madcap comedy. It runs from Monday April 25 - Friday April 29, and tickets are going fast, with Friday already sold out.

Don’t panic. Get your tickets now at www.ticketsource.co.uk/trysttheatre